if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
