end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
