my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
