i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Where is the hickey?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
