just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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