You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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