the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
