who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
