Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
