I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
