In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
