Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
