Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
