went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
