I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
