I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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