Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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