People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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