I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
