Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
