Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
