mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
