Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
