I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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