We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Nicole vs. Life
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
