Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm both gender and math confused
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
