My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we made out on top of his cat.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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