so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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