I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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