I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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