I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
