we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
