I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
