I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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