no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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