Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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