sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
