I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
