Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
