Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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