when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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