He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
