too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
