I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
