i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
