they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
