I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
