People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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