Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
