I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
pray to the hookup gods
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
