I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
