I got chris browned last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
