The maid of honor just puked.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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