It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
