Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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