We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
