So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
