look no pants
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
