awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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