Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
