Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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