Please, let me fuck your mom
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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