Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize