i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
